Your mother isn’t speaking to you. Your father can’t look at you. Perhaps your siblings have nixed you from their life for being a bad influence on their children. Leaving religion takes quite a toll on people. If you’re a woman who’s left religion, then you know the isolation I speak of.
It takes profound courage to leave organized religion. Courage to question all you’ve ever known, courage to doubt the “truths” you held so close, courage to think for yourself, courage to research the church you were born into, and finally courage to stand up for yourself and walk away.
Yet it isn’t just oppression and tithes we walk away from, but our community. If your religion encouraged you to bear children and be a stay at home mother, then this lack of community hits even harder. At least men could go to work and have friends outside of church. But when women leave, they essentially are completely alone, having made no contacts outside of the church.
Which brings us to our top 3 needs of Ex-Christian women
1. Sisterhood
You are not alone as a former religious woman. You have so many sisters just waiting to meet you, congratulate you, and cheer you on. We need our fellow rebel sisters to support us when we doubt ourselves. We need to share our mutual trauma so we can rise above. We need to put words to our pain and be held in true, loving, acceptance. We need the sisterhood we didn’t have in religion.
2. Space to Rest (And Play!)
You also need space to grow into your authentic self after religion. This means literal space to move your energy expressively, as well as time and space for deep rest and reflection. There was no rest or play for women in religion, so it’s of vital importance that we try to reclaim these values now that we are free. As an Exmormon woman (who’s also childfree), reclaiming play and pleasure has been wildly challenging, so I know I’m not alone in this struggle.
3. Self-Empowerment & Sovereignty
Once you’re able to be held and freely express yourself, you’ll notice your self-worth growing. You’ll begin to feel strength behind your words and actions, confidence behind your desires, and determination behind your goals. You will stop apologizing for being you and start to look to yourself for wisdom, finally knowing you have all the answers inside.
Ex-Christian women across the world, including Ex-Protestant, Ex-Evangelical, Ex-Mormon/ Ex-Latter-Day Saint, Ex-Jehovah’s Witness, etc. ALL need these things after religion. As a woman who’s left religion, I’m on a mission to offer these to my fellow sisters. If you’re a woman who’s left, you owe it to yourself to reclaim all you lost, all that was denied you, and all you deserve.
Find community, make time for rest and play, and gradually build-up your self-empowerment and sovereignty. If you want connection now, I offer healing and fun sister circles called Reclaim Sister Circles for ex-religious women every Sunday, with more circles coming.
Your sisters are out there waiting. We can all heal, but we heal faster together.
