I, your inner Wild woman, have emerged from the forest with another musing. So take off your shoes and that restrictive bra and join me on the forest floor to muse about rest.

A seemingly over-discussed topic, but one I think in which is often viewed through the lens of self-care and wellness i.e. another thing you “should” try to do and feel a wee bit guilty if you don’t.

But you also feel extremely guilty when you do, especially as a woman.

Because in this world, you aren’t allowed to stop. The wheel is always turning. AI is getting better. Young graduates are entering the workforce. Tools are ever changing. And the pressure just keeps mounting. Summer is never ending. There is always more to do.

Be better. Work harder. Push it. Crush it. Hustle. Grind.

And if you do, maybe one day…you can feel like you’ve done enough and can rest.

Never Good Enough

It’s not just working to earn rest. It’s buying the products, the gym memberships, the coaching to finally be considered “well.” It’s the pressure to post to social, to start a business or side gig, to have the dream house only so you can prove to your family & friends that you’re “successful.” All of this to feel “enough.”

And that’s what it’s all about at the heart of your daily struggle. The desire to feel “enough.” Enough for your job. Enough for a relationship. Enough for love. Enough to just be.

But you’ll never get there. There will always be more work to be done, more ways to “get ahead,” more ways to find “success,” more ways to improve your appearance or health, more ways to be “better.”

Can you see the trend here? Patriarchal culture does not support life, it seeks to deplete it. It tells you that you aren’t good enough in a thousand ways, and then offers solutions to be “enough” – more work, more status, more sex, more money.

You compete for it all. As though there is only so much love or money to go around. And that’s how those in true power want it.

This constant striving to improve or advance but never feeling enough is by design.

And it’s a gigantic scam.

Because it’s the hardworking people that usually make the least amount of money, are given the least amount of respect, and are taken the most advantage of. It’s the self-made entrepreneurs that are burnt-out. It’s the overachievers that are exhausted. And in particular, it’s the women of the world who are running on fumes & sheer will.

Patriarchy & Capitalism Sittin’ In A Tree

Patriarchy and capitalism have been in bed together from the beginning. It is a system that thrives on taking advantage of someone below you to boost yourself up. It is a machine fueled by insecurity and which produces only burnout. This “hustle culture” is not normal. It’s been programmed into us. Work harder, lest you be replaced by a machine.

Stop and sit with that a moment. Work harder…than a machine.

This system is built on competition & greed, it’s counting on humans being slower than machines. And yet the AI and robots keep coming. So people work harder. And when you are paid based on how much you work, it’s very easy to feel that your productivity is directly related to your worth. Because in a capitalistic & patriarchal society, those with the most money are “worth” the most. That’s what they tell themselves anyway.

But what do you think of those Scrooge McDucks sitting on their piles of gold? What do you think of Trump’s gold-plated everything? What do you think of Bezos and Musk earning billions while cutting jobs of those with families and medical bills? Do you admire them? Do you want to be them? Do you think they are literally worth more because their bank accounts are worth more? Yeah. I didn’t think so. These are garbage men. Money-crazed, selfish, insecure, petty, corrupt men who build themselves up by standing on the backs of others. Are these men you want to aspire to? Really?

So why believe the BS they’re selling about hustle culture and money being everything? It’s a lie. A lie meant to keep your nose to the grindstone while they tower over you taking what you earn. It’s a farce. A scam. And the sooner you realize this, it all comes crumbling down.

In this world, built by men, you are programmed to hate yourself so that you compete with each other and work yourself to the bone so you never have a moment to question authority. Women in particular are the most scammed, being at the base of this pyramid. You are the least recognized, least supported, and least compensated of all humanity, and yet, the ones holding it up. Women are expected to work double the hours of men, because work at home apparently doesn’t count. Women are expected to take on all the other forms of labor as well, as the average man considers his wife their therapist, accountant, nanny, cook, personal assistant, and more. She is given no “off” time. Her job is 24/7- 365. She is paid 1/3 of what her male colleagues make. She is overlooked for promotions and raises. Her “going the extra mile” is expected.

I call bullshit. On all of it, but particularly regarding women. If women were to suddenly go on strike, society would collapse overnight. But women aren’t given nearly the respect, thanks, or financial compensation to support this reality. And it’s looking like, they never will.

So how do you fight back against this Patriarchal & Capitalistic programming?

You rebel. You resist.

And the first step is doing the opposite of what they want: resting.

Humans Are Cyclical

Humans are cyclical, women especially. Men experience a daily shift in emotions. Women are on a monthly cycle, like the moon. And the world is on a seasonal cycle. But everything has its time of rest. Everyday you get time with the sun and the moon, a period of work and a period of rest. Night is a time for rest. Winter is a time of rest. A woman’s week of menstruation is a time for rest.

And this cyclical living goes directly against the work-obsessed Patriarchal & Capitalistic social system. Would capitalism thrive if you rested more? Nope. This current social structure relies on insecurity, greed, and competition, where rest is earned. But people would.

You’d naturally become healthier and more balanced. You’d be more creative and motivated. You’d have more energy. You’d think clearer. You’d see the value in play and connect more with yourself and your loved ones. Billionaires wouldn’t profit, individuals would.

And if men don’t want to make that world a reality, then as usual, it falls to women. If you want to have a world that values equally work and rest, then you must be the example.

Until this current hustle society of greed burns itself out…rest is resistance, rebellion, and revolution rolled into one. It says, yes, I value my well-being over money, over image, over the appearance of “success.” I am secure enough to rest and know I won’t lose ground. I love myself enough to know rest is more important than productivity.

These ideas: security, self-love, and valuing well-being over outer image – are direct threats to Patriarchy and Capitalism. If you decide you are “enough,” their power disintegrates. You would allow yourselves to rest before you’re exhausted. You would prioritize your well-being, your family, your joy over their profit margins. You would know your worth as workers, and demand adequate pay for a decent standard of living.

The Power Has Always Been With You

You simply must rebel against the lies and remember that your worth is innate, that growth happens even when you rest, and that collaborating is better than competing.

To rest is not to stop. It is the vital in-between periods of work that you witness the most growth. A seed doesn’t sprout upon being planted. It needs time in the darkness. It seems like nothing is happening, it seems still. But this is when the magic happens. It’s in this place of rest that a fire is kindled so the plant can burst upward through the soil. This is where its gathering strength for the beautiful colors, the bountiful fruit it will sprout. This period is imperative.

Rest is not stagnation. Stillness is not dead.

This is the illusion —the lie— you must let go of.

How do bones heal? How do you recover from illness? How do you figure out a tough problem? How do you make it to the mountain’s peak?

You rest.

And in this stillness, you stitch together skin and bone, you battle germs and recover your strength, and you allow wisdom to bubble to the surface of your mind. There is immense ‘work’ being done during periods of rest.

As Audre Lorde said, “The master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house”.

Patriarchy & Capitalism will never be dismantled by clinging to the values of Patriarchy and Capitalism.

It demands you resist. Rebel. Revolutionize.

And that looks like rest.

It says, “I’m not there yet/haven’t finished yet/haven’t won yet…and still, I will rest so I have strength to resume tomorrow.” It is valuing the process, not the end result. It is finding joy & satisfaction in the climb, not the reaching of the peak.

Resting Isn’t As Easy As It Sounds

For many women, multi-tasking is a normal thing. You may listen to audiobooks or a podcast while you clean or cook or care for your children. You may be helping your child with their homework as you balance the budget. You were told this was normal because you are a woman. You took ‘workaholic’ as a compliment. And resting may be genuinely difficult. Turning off your brain, being still, coming into your body may be downright painful or feel impossible. I understand you, I do.

Burnout and exhaustion may seem normal to you.

But do you want to remain that person forever? Because a woman who is burnt out is not the woman a revolution needs. If you are burnt out you can’t help rebuild the new world. If you are burnt out you start to numb out, and you can’t lift up those who need you. If you don’t care for yourself first, you won’t have the strength to care for others.

I say again with the utmost love: rest is rebellion, resistance, and a revolt against your programming. It is recognizing that rest is just as vital as work. It is acknowledging the magic that happens in the dark, in the “stillness.”

Balance Is Revolutionary

So as you sink deeper into the dark half of the year, when you are naturally inclined to work less and rest more, I encourage you to see the world as it truly is. A world of cycles of rest & work, dark & light, stillness & movement. If you have a mission or vision for a better world, you need to be healthy enough to make it a reality. If you are growing something beautiful, you must let it sit in the dark to germinate. Autumn and Winter aren’t backup seasons, they are integral to the life of everything.

Balance is integral to life.

Don’t wait until you get ill or burnout or make a hasty decision you regret. Rest. Allow things to percolate, to simmer, to recover, to take root.

The revolution won’t be won always in moments of action. It will be won in moments of resistance and rebellion. Refuse to participate in the Patriarchal & Capitalistic machine. Work with the cycles of life (including your menstruation cycle) and see how much more you thrive.

For your worth is not in how much you can do or earn for others. Care for yourself and in doing so, show that you care for the world, your family, your community, and the visions you want to bring into reality.

Be a rebel, my Sunflower. Rest.

With a howl,

Your inner Wild Woman