Tis I, your inner Serpent hissing from the grass to awaken you to another lie meant to keep you quiet & submissive: the idea of going “mad.”
Another woman gone mad. She just couldn’t take another day. Broken by the system that gave her everything: a husband, a home, children, and all the fabric softener she could ask for. I wonder what it was.
Could have been the 357th time a male stranger told her to smile in the grocery store. Perhaps it was when she woke up to find that her entire sex had been erased from the Human Rights report, not even a year after being erased from medical research, while the men around her whine about a “male loneliness epidemic.” Maybe it was the melt-down her child had while everyone shook their head at her. Or it could have been when her Uncle brandished the gold sneakers sold by the so-called leader of the “free world,” a man actively dodging rape charges as often as he dodged the draft. Or maybe it was simply another man she thought she was safe around mumbling “not all men” as she shared her trauma. Who’s to say?
She just…went mad.
She stopped being so sweet to everyone. She stopped cleaning the house and started ordering take out. She let school projects go uncompleted and allowed bills to lapse. She stopped giving her required weekly sex. Stopped wearing makeup and went out fresh-faced. Stopped spending hours plucking, curling, shaving her hair. Stopped showing up to PTA meetings. Stopped coupon clipping. Stopped holding back her opinions at work and in public.
She just…went mad.
WHAT IT MEANS TO GO “MAD” ACCORDING TO THE PATRIARCHY
When a woman is described as having gone mad/crazy, I smirk if not laugh. Because I know, as well as those who called her “mad” know, that she didn’t literally go mad, she just couldn’t take it anymore. She woke the fuck up. And when she looked around and saw the bullshit she was expected to not only tolerate, but tolerate with a smile, to be grateful for, she realized the raw deal she’d been served. She snaps. The bubble finally bursts.
A woman gone mad is simply a woman awakened.
Awakened to the madness of this Patriarchal world. Awakened to the lies she’d been fed since she was a girl. That if she was sweet and subservient, she’d be happy. Lie. That if she dressed modestly and looked nice, she’d be treated with respect. Lie. That if she remained virginal and sought love, she’d find a husband that would make all her dreams come true. LIE. That if she was good enough she would have a home of her own and children to care for and that it would fulfill all her womanly needs. LIE LIE LIE.
MADNESS IS CLARITY THEY SEEK TO UNDERMINE
A woman goes “mad” when she simply wakes up from the dream she was chasing and realizes that she is in a nightmare that she can’t wake from.
It’s the cold splash of water, or rather, the slap in the face that says “Yep, this is it! This is the dream you’ve been sold. And you bought it because what other choice did you have? Yes, this is really all they’ve got planned for you. You will never be respected, you will never be compensated, you will never be heard, and you will never control every aspect of your life, especially your body.”
Who the fuck wouldn’t go a little mad after realizing that?
I’m certain people will call me mad. I prefer the term Enraged, but mad works too. It’s what they will call me, and those like me, so they can easily dismiss us.
Once upon a time I may have been lobotomized for these thoughts, and those days may be ahead with our current trajectory. I may have had my uterus removed as it was making me go hysterical, that’s right, it’s called a hysterectomy for a reason. Nowadays they’d try to put me on tranquilizers.
Basically, the Patriarchy not only KNOWS this life will make women go insane, it then has methods to silence us so we don’t wake the others. Asinine & dehumanizing ways, obviously. Removing the uterus as a way of coping with Patriarchy? God, what a bunch of idiots.
IF MEN ENDURED THE LIFE OF WOMEN
Just imagine if this life were reversed. If men were told to remain virginal until marriage or be shamed endlessly — only to have their wives cheat with their secretaries. If they reported abuse and were told to be sweeter so they’d be safe. If their only purpose was to produce children, mop floors, and cook pot roasts. If they were paid 15–30% less simply for being men. If at every family gathering they were stuck in the kitchen while the women drank in the living room. If strange women told them to smile. If they were harassed everywhere they went and nothing was done because “girls will be girls.” If they were raped, the rapist went free, and their families shamed them for speaking up. If they were shamed for aging and their partners “traded up” when they got too old?
Could. You. IMAGINE?
So no, hun, you haven’t gone mad. She hasn’t gone mad. She’s simply a woman in a Patriarchal world. And perhaps she’s cooked, she’s going numb, she’s not buying into the lie so she’s not “trying” to win wife/mother of the year award.
To her, to YOU, I say, welcome Sister. You have woken up. And now you’re ready to fight to change the system.
MADNESS IS THE FIRST STEP TOWARDS REVOLUTION
We need madness, for madness is clarity.
We need rage, for rage is power.
And we need to stop giving a shit about anyone calling us “mad,” “crazy,” “insane,” or “delusional.” Those are meant to undermine the truth you know.
Let these terms instead be a reminder that you have broken the sleeping curse that they tried to keep you under. They hope to make you feel bad for it, hoping you’ll do some self-healing and some inner work so you can plaster on that fake smile and try again to be the best mother and wife in the world. They want you to crawl back into your lace box and hope that by calling you “mad” it will work.
Don’t let it.
Go mad sister. Go absolutely bat-shit crazy. Let the dishes pile. Let your hair go unwashed. Let your bad bitch out.
When you’re told to smile, give the most unhinged “smile” you can muster.
When you’re groped, grope them right back, but make it hurt.
When you’re stared at, stare right back, deep into their soul. Then start muttering under your breath the curse they know they’ve earned.
Bare your teeth. Tear at your hair. Growl like a demon. Make them run.
Become the beast they made you.
Prove to them what madness really looks like. And let them sit with it.
They likely won’t realize they are the cause, but they’re sure as shit going to feel the effect.
With lit match in hand,
Your Inner Serpent
